Tin Foil Hats

The plots seem to be thickening lately about conspiracies to control our minds.  Maybe people are paranoid about microwave transmission of mind control being beamed into our heads by government military ogres.  Some people believe that extraterrestrial beings can read our thoughts and control our behavior with brainwave technology or esp techniques.  Some folks believe that both the government and space aliens are working together to subvert our thoughts and behavior.

The stereotypical countermeasure to brainwave interferance is the use of a tin foil hat to block any incoming control beams.  The hypothesis holds that covering the skull with a metal shield will work in a similar manner to a Faraday Cage. That can be demonstrated by turning on an AM radio, tuning it to a station, then wrapping the radio with aluminum foil.  The result is a diminished or absent strength of reception by the radio.

The hypothesis about tin foil hats has never been proven.  In fact, it has been determined that anyone wearing a tin foil hat is more likely to fall under control of any electronic mind control waves.   It turns out that because the hat is open at the bottom, the hat behaves like a satellite signal recieving dish.  It will actually focus and concentrate any microwave and radio signals directly to the brain.

That means that tin foil hats are actually counterproductive.  What a person needs to do is to completely surround the head, face and body with foil.  I’m not sure about leaving eye holes, a place for the nose and mouth.  Maybe somebody will market something like a NASA spacesuit.  The face shield would need to be constructed of a special glass formulation to block brainwaves.

Could a person sleep in such a suit?  What about those moments when bodily functions need attention?  How about eating? How about personal hygiene?  How about intrapersonal intimacy?  What to do when in public when working or attending a concert?  If you think wearing a simple tin foil hat makes you look daffy, imagine walking around looking like Neil Armstrong taking a stroll on the moon.  Downright loony!

Then there’s the controversy about the actual metal itself.  Is aluminum effective?  British scientists argue that the foil must actually be composed of tin to work properly.  Other physicists say that the only effective way to block all incoming and outgoing waves and signals is to construct the hat from lead plating.

I doubt if anybody has thought about the comfort factor of any of these proposals.  I’m writing this in the middle of summer.  I don’t even like to wear a straw hat in summer let alone something made of metal, especially something very heavy like lead.

If they’re still convinced that tin foil will protect against brainwave beams, I suppose a person could just line a regular baseball cap with foil.  Maybe they’ve already thought of it.  I do see lots of guys wearing caps.  I wonder how many are lined with tin foil?

Personally, I think that tin foil hats are simply a conspiracy by aluminum foil manufacturers to pump up the demand by consumers for more boxes of foil.  I think they’re in cahoots with propagators of conspiracy theories.

There is no shortage of plots.  You’ve still got the folks who don’t believe the President was born in Hawaii.  Fact check says they should equip themselves with a “high quality tinfoil hat”.   I’m sure you have your own favorites, too.


The Blue Jay of Happiness still has questions about why DARPA tried to recruit him.


About swabby429

An eclectic guy who likes to observe the world around him and comment about those observations.
This entry was posted in cultural highlights, Meanderings. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Tin Foil Hats

  1. Rose says:

    Love it! The computer station is da bomb!

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