Yesterday my boyfriend leaned back on the sofa and began listing some of the things he likes about me. While, I’m not a humble braggart nor do I fish for compliments, it was very pleasant to hear his positive opinions about me.
One of the best things about a beautiful monologue like this is that it begins a dialogue. It got me to open up and tell him what I appreciate and like about him. In fact, this was the first thing I mentioned when I began sharing my list with him. Before we knew it, Greg and I became a mutual admiration society.
Of course, we both have our faults, but Greg and I don’t make a habit out of composing laundry lists of them. When something annoying comes up, we try our best to deal with it on the spot. Few things can kill a relationship like resentments. If either of us had harbored deep resentments, we would not have lasted the 14-plus years as pals and
It’s easy to fault-find and look for validation of our critic’s lists. Just the fact that we’re human beings, means that we all come with a built in set of faults. If you’re LGBT or a member of some other minority group, there are organized institutions eager to destroy you psychologically with their negativity and false “concern”, and literally with violence. We need to fortify ourselves by honestly listing our attributes.
If your friend or lover hasn’t lavished you with a list of what’s OK about you, go ahead and do it for yourself. It’s possible to do this without becoming a narcissist. Just be realistic and honest, there’s no need to inflate any egos. If you’re a “Danny Downer” about yourself, your new OK list may seem like a farce. Take a deep breath, put pen to paper and start the list. When you’ve finished your own list, you can compile another one for your significant other or a close friend.
How about your philosophy about life? Have you considered fresh concepts, rejected outmoded ideas, and become more accepting of yourself and others? If you’ve made progress along these lines, give yourself a passing grade.
Do you make an effort to balance seriousness with playfulness or the other way around? Are you open to meeting people who can help open you up to a happier outlook on life?
Is compromise on your OK list? This is an important part of getting along in this world. Selfishness can manifest as stubborn attitudes about others. If you can travel other people’s paths, write this attribute on your OK list.
When you get started on your OK list, it will begin to rapidly snowball into more and more things. What can you think of? Talents? Skills? Cheerfulness? What else?
What makes you OK? What makes your friend OK?