Leaving It Alone

As I go about doing chores, my mental radio often loops songs. I think the DJ is a scatterbrain, but that’s just how the music fragments are played. This morning, DJ Monkey Mind kept looping the ending moments of the Beatles song “Let It Be”.

“…Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be”…etc. –John Lennon/Paul McCartney

On a parallel note, I’ve been struggling with a couple of mundane relationship issues with an acquaintance. Should I mention them to her or should I just leave them alone? The trouble is that she does not take suggestions calmly. On the one hand, she feels no restraint in pointing out my faults, but if I disagree, I get the silent treatment for several days.

I’ve read articles and watched videos of popular psychology’s explanation of this type of interpersonal communication and relating. They all pretty much say that this is a “red flag” for dysfunctional behavior. Armchair shrinks claim that it is a warning sign for narcissism.

So I wonder what to do with my internal effort and overthinking. Should I continue to attempt to hold the budding friendship together or should I just leave it alone? The question has been percolating in my mind for over a month. Maybe DJ Monkey Mind is trying to give me musical advise.

When all is said and done, we really cannot control people nor most situations. Even though the desire to influence them is strong and careful thought has revealed that the intervention would be beneficial, the person is going to do what she is going to do. Regardless of the quality of communication and the amount of loving motivation to help, sometimes we just cannot get them to listen to or consider our point of view. It is just considered as unsolicited advise that she will simply ignore.

After so much mental gymnastics over the relationship question, it’s probably time to take a break. Her behavior and attitude towards our acquaintanceship is completely out of my hands and I have little or no influence. DJ Monkey Mind must be telling me to just let it be.

Ancient texts teach that interference and intervention are unwise. It is said that we must learn to leave things alone. There is the popular statement, “Let go and let God”. However, this has rarely worked out in my favor.

The decisions to intervene should be made on a case by case basis. If I’m walking downtown and notice that a nearby fellow pedestrian has stepped into the path of a speeding bus, I’m going warn him and physically pull him back to the curb. To passively let go of the situation would be irresponsible and careless.

The scenario regarding the acquaintance is more complicated. I don’t want to step in front of the metaphorical speeding bus of her temper, yet it is unwise to just let the situation be without voicing my objections. This brings to mind other ancient writings that tell us that if we leave things alone, we leave them as they are. Actually letting things be means that we leave them to the torrents of random change.

So, it’s really up to me to decide whether or not to risk getting chewed out by mentioning my displeasure over the acquaintance’s speech and behavior. Do I want to salvage a potential friendship, or should I just accept the status quo?

To let it be or to not let it be? That is the question. I have a pretty good idea about the answer.

Ciao
The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger. “Thank you for leaving us alone but giving us enough attention to boost our egos.”

About swabby429

An eclectic guy who likes to observe the world around him and comment about those observations.
This entry was posted in Contemplation, Friendship, Health, philosophy, religion and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Leaving It Alone

  1. David Davis says:

    I would suggest seeing her less often.

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