I’m actually in a pretty good mood right now. I’ve had enough sleep. The early morning weather is nearly perfect. The coffee turned out beautifully. Yet I’m sitting here with grumpiness on my mind. Actually, yesterday is when I chose today’s topic.
The week-long grumpy mood had revealed the bitterness and resentment that had been harbored in my head about the quarantine and how inconvenienced I felt. The only close-up, face to face time I’ve had since late March has been a couple of brief encounters with grocery store clerks. The short conversations were the perfunctory exchanges people normally have during the check-out procedure.
A couple of weekends ago, while I washed and detailed my old Toyota on the driveway, Liz and Chuck from across the street shouted “hello”. The ensuing conversation was very short because they were getting into their pickup truck to go somewhere. Although I was happy to see my neighbors, they were across the street. Due to “social distancing” we did not approach each other to chat for awhile, as we normally do.
The main reasons for my grumpiness are that I miss truly interacting with people in person, one on one. Even we introverts like to be with people occasionally. I miss seeing my boyfriend. Karl works in the grocery business, so we’re self-isolating. I miss seeing my other pals, too. I miss thrift store shopping each day to hunt for “treasures”. I miss having competent leadership at the top, to guide the nation through this pandemic.
I’m not grumpy by nature. I have to be really pushed for a long time to become grouchy. Isolation and being shortchanged on sleep does that to most folks. When people are tired and all alone, we become more self-centered. At least according to my observations.
By my own reckoning, my personality is rather normal and unremarkable. Although I can be sullen now and then, my default mood setting is cheerfulness. I require very little prompting to feel happy. It takes very little effort to laugh.
Right now, even while writing about grumpiness, I’m still feeling upbeat and cheery. Perhaps this is the best mood to have while trying to objectively analyze grumpiness. That is, stepping away from the state of feeling grouchy allows better introspective thinking.
As I read through the above paragraphs, there are an unusual number of first person singular pronouns. Perhaps this means that grumpiness has been sublimated for the time being. Do I dare allow it to show its scowling face? Do I dare tempt my inner Andy Rooney to reveal himself?
No, the inner curmudgeon needs his rest and relaxation. This is the time to bask in some emotional sunshine. I’ll wrap this post up because this is no time for more gloom and doom.