Living life on “auto-pilot” can result in a gradual misalignment of our actions from our personal values. A person may realize that she is not being true to herself because she has been allowing others or society to determine what defines happiness and success. As a result a person may question whether or not she believes in what she is doing. When this happens, it’s time for her to bring focus back to what authentically makes her happy, regardless of what others expect.
Another common way misalignment creeps into life is when we cultivate unrealistic expectations from ourselves and others. Perhaps a person believed he would find himself in a beautiful, fairytale-like relationship. However, he feels disconnected from his significant other. Quality time together has diminished or vanished, communication has become less honest and open. He realizes that relationships aren’t constantly rainbows and unicorns. There are ups and downs with the downs predominating. The person dithers between whether or not to stay in his relationship.
We prefer the presence of happiness and good will in our interactions with other people and society as a whole. We strive towards contentment, happiness, and agreeableness in life. We envision ourselves in jobs that reflect these wishes. We want friends who are on similar paths as ours. We want healthy familial relationships. When we drift out of sync with our deep positive values, our lives become disharmonious.
Getting back on track is easier said than done, so setbacks and frustrations appear. It could be time to reassess life and do some soul-searching. Each person has her or his own concept of what a life lived in harmony is like. This fact often causes discord. This is an important reason why communication is vitally important. Calm, sober, ongoing discussion with one another helps bridge differences of opinion. We’ve been repeatedly told this, but we don’t always follow through when we’ve been living on auto-pilot.
We can pause and seek out ways to find common ground in our working lives and our personal lives. We share our concerns and listen to the concerns of others as we work to reinforce or rebuild our career path and interpersonal relationships. We continue to keep lines of communication open and are ready to reserve space for each other to relate on a deeper, more authentic level.
Unfortunately, a person may sincerely strive to create harmonious work environments and interpersonal relationships but the disharmony remains or worsens. After more soul-searching and honest effort it’s time to examine how these situations align or don’t align with one’s values and desires. Can the conundrum be reconciled? Perhaps it’s time to seek out new, more meaningful work opportunities. It might be time to let go of certain relationships that no longer bring fulfillment and satisfaction. Doing so leaves more room for work and relationships that are aligned with your ideals.
To be happy and fulfilled, we think, say, and act harmoniously. Each person is different. There are no one size fits all solutions. If we are not living by our own values, we’re not being true to ourselves. It might be time to engage in some honest communication with oneself and contemplate ways to bring about more harmonious living. As we live more harmoniously in our personal lives, we begin to enable harmony in the Universe.
The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes author, journalist, and philosopher, Albert Camus. “But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads.?”