During the past year, it’s understandable that many of us may have felt trapped with few options available for relief. It may have been the lock-down and social distancing that has contributed to this in a real way. It’s also likely that worries about personal income and budgeting have contributed to more debt. Maybe, non-pandemic reasons have made us feel trapped between a rock and a hard place, with no relief in sight.
These feelings about our situation become cyclical, self-fulfilling prophesies. Such thoughts and beliefs do not serve us nor are they conducive to enabling our goals nor any higher purpose. Negative patterns and over-thinking are the recipes for imagining worst-case scenarios. The more often we mentally stage awful outcomes, the more we feel stuck–any available options seem like pie in the sky thinking.
After awhile, such obsessive beliefs may lead to victim mentality. In such cases, we have surrendered our personal power to external factors. Victim mentality tends to cement feelings of entrapment and limitation even more. This can cause us to lash out or allow oneself to indulge in destructive behavior. This powerlessness might cause us to place our faith in outsiders or unethical solutions. Yet, there remains the chance that we can take back personal accountability, and in turn, our personal power.
This can be done without Pollyanna thinking nor harming others. It helps to pause obsessive thoughts and consider new perspectives. You may already have a card up your sleeve that you’ve forgotten about. How might you most effectively use such a resource to get out of your fix? A new perspective might come to mind that reveals a solution you’ve never seriously explored until now. There might even be an ally who can be of help. The idea is to open oneself to answers instead of indulging in victim mentality.
When we’re in the midst of a crisis or long-running difficulty, such positivity can seem unrealistic and vain. Yet, we realize that we’re confused about whether or not we can resolve the challenging situation. There is a glimmer of hope that we can climb out of the rut. A small, internal voice whispers, “Get out of your head; listen to your gut instincts.” Cyclical, habitual thinking has become self-destructive. It’s time to pay attention to intuition and to the outside clues for possible hidden opportunities. We’ve come to the realization that certain beliefs we hold near and dear to our hearts are preventing us from thriving. There comes a time for letting go of such attachments.
The inner critic is not likely to take this lightly. When we attempt something new or begin to learn a new skill, that inner critic is going to pipe up and try to convince us why we’re not good enough and why we shouldn’t even make an attempt. We may even give up just as we’re on the verge of success because of the faulty belief that we’re not worthy of winning. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory can become habitual due to such beliefs.
Now is when it is wise to contemplate and meditate realistically upon our options and to be mindful of what we tell ourselves that is holding us back. The difficulties may be in full swing but we can open our eyes to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Through more self acceptance and positive reflection we can acknowledge our strengths. We can reflect upon past successes as proof that we are capable of accomplishments. We can divorce ourselves from the warm, addictive, mental narcotic of victim mentality, by taking responsibility and accountability for who we are and about our circumstances.
This is easier said and read than done, so the time has come to get out of our heads and activate our physical skills. The time is now.
The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes iconoclast, social critic, essayist, satirist, and philosopher, Mokokoma Mokhonoana. “We ought to relentlessly ignore excuses, especially those we are told by ourselves.”