Heart To Heart

An ancient Eastern sage once said, “Human hearts are fields of blessings for the world, since this is where the path of reason originates.” Since we are taught that matters of the heart and subjects of reason are separate, this proverb seems counter-intuitive.

If we pause and consider the word “counter-intuitive” and remember that it is often used in discussions of reason, we quickly see the innate connection between intuition and reason.

Scientific minds tend to rationally investigate what their hearts desire. An example of this is the person who wishes to deeply study mathematics. She has been moved to do so because of some yearning in her heart to do so. She loves the field of mathematics. Soon her heart becomes a field of benefits for the world at large.

We typically stereotype heart to heart communication as the domain of sages and lovers. However, in actuality, this is not the truth. To some extent, we all do certain practical things because they fascinate us. Curiosity is integral with our feelings and emotions.

The mathematician is motivated to investigate numbers and their relationship to the world. Perhaps she discovers that she has a particular talent to solve equations. She goes down the rabbit hole of mathematics and ends up investigating geometry, physics, and calculus. She finds that she is skilled in those areas, too. She might then find ways to use her skills to work in another field that she loves, for instance biology. She has smoothly managed to integrate her heart and reason.

A more obvious link of the heart to practicality is how a leader forms his understanding of how to win the hearts and minds of the people. He may learn this practical skill through trial and error. He discovers early on that losing the emotional esteem of his followers reduces or eliminates his effectiveness. When he manages to win their hearts, he and his causes flourish. This is a foundation stone of political theory.

We are reminded that other people cannot read our minds, nor can we read theirs. Relationships of all types fall apart due to poor communication. Misunderstanding often results in anger, confusion, hurt feelings, and resentment. Communication breakdown happens because we all have different communication styles. This is why it is important to seek ways to communicate according to the needs of our relationships.

Verbal and written communication are skills that can be learned. They are not as complicated as mathematics or political science, even though communication skills are important aspects of those subjects. So, heart to heart communication is an effective way to improve our lives on many levels.

In most endeavors we learn to read between the lines and hear what isn’t explicitly said. It is important to be aware of the other person’s emotional state in order to effectively convey our own feelings and thoughts to the other person. We talk or write to the other person what we would want her to communicate to us if our positions were reversed.

Meantime, wise people speak and write to be understood and read to grow their understanding. Communication is a two-way street. Keeping this in mind is how we grow stronger communities and healthier relationships. Relationships that have healthy, strong communications are better able to weather challenges and remain unified. People and groups with ineffective communication skills are more vulnerable to crises and challenges then often fail. This has been known throughout the ages, yet too many people overlook the need for intuitive communication.

The way to improving work environments as well as personal relationships is heart to heart communication. That is, to reach people with the words they use and understand. This type of communication enables understanding, which in turn leads to community.

In the end, lack of heart to heart communication leads to cynicism, doubt, faithlessness, insecurity, mistrust, and conflict. Meantime heart to heart speaking and writing strengthens trust and understanding–resulting in happier, healthier relationships on all levels.

Ciao
The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes counselor and writer, Cole Todd. “Communication is humanity’s greatest blessing, although efforts to establish it can feel like humanity’s greatest curse.”