The Offensive Automobile

The old car in the YouTube advertisement video triggered a sense of revulsion that chilled me to the bone. The car dealer, “Country Classics” of Staunton, Illinois posts videos that appear in my Facebook feed. The videos feature a different old vehicle parked inside their warehouse each day. My inner car geek enjoys these. The car in question, was a black, 1960 Oldsmobile 88 two-door sedan. The manner in which the previous owner had modified the car’s appearance offended my sensibilities. The fact that the video’s car was dusty and displayed in dim lighting didn’t help its appearance at all. Yes, taste in automobile styling is extremely subjective. Anyhow, after the video ended, I refrained from commenting and carried on with the remainder of the Facebook session uneventfully.

Fast-forward to early morning of the next day: I experienced a lucid dream that took place in the dealer’s warehouse. I was restrained by a malevolent being who forced me to remain in the vicinity of the ugly Oldsmobile. The being coerced me into analyzing every part of the car that I hated. The stainless steel visors over the windows were the first part of the tour. Then the tail-lights that are perched at the edges of the horizontal fins gave me shivers. The aftermarket “mag” wheels looked completely out of place on the behemoth of a car. The fender skirts were the final touches of car tour of horrors. I knew that the vision was a dream. I begged the forces of mercy to allow me to awaken. At last, the alarm clock beeped and I was conscious.

I reflected on the various ways that people, including myself, allow ourselves to be offended in life. Things that really do not matter nor affect us in any way whatsoever sometimes push our buttons. Who knows why I allowed the car video to offend my sensibilities to the core. After all, the car isn’t the most ugly thing I’ve ever seen. It’s more or less a “meh” car. If the car drove down my street, it probably wouldn’t draw much of a visceral response–perhaps only a quick rise of the eyebrows. Some folks might even like the car.

During the post-dream state of consciousness, I laughed at the level of petty revulsion about the car I felt in the dream. Later, I clicked on the “Country Classics” website in order to download a photo of the car for this short post. Thankfully, the Oldsmobile had been brought outdoors and washed for the display photos. The Oldsmobile looks much better in the pictures. However, to my eyes, the car is still unattractive and looks somehow “evil”.

There was one positive takeaway about the ugly car. My smartwatch noted that I had experienced an additional 30-minutes of REM sleep than usual. This result pleased me greatly.


The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes author and humorist, David Sedaris. “People ask me, ‘Have you ever considered doing stand-up?’ To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, ‘Have you ever considered dental implants?'”

About swabby429

An eclectic guy who likes to observe the world around him and comment about those observations.
This entry was posted in Controversy, cultural highlights, Meanderings, philosophy and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Offensive Automobile

  1. Alien Resort says:

    This reminded me of the Edsel experience. Wikipedia is all over the board about exactly why it failed.

    • swabby429 says:

      Edsel was quite the conundrum for Ford. Derided in its time, but now the cars are valuable collector’s items. I can’t say the same for Oldsmobile–another defunct brand.

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