On Violence

“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”–20th-21st century American author, mediator, teacher, and psychologist, Marshall B. Rosenberg

I’ll go ahead and state the obvious fact, the world has long been a violent place. Every day, the planet, itself, has storms and geological events. Plants and animals create harm amongst ourselves in our struggles for survival. Within our biological bodies microbes and antibodies fight to the death for dominance. Henceforth, it should be no surprise that cultural, direct, and structural violence exists in society.

That said, there is no humane reason why we must resign our species to the default mode of harming one another. We are a thinking, caring lot of creatures. Yet, everyday we hear of and see examples of physical, psychological, and sexual violence–be they at the individual or group level. When we examine the problems of violence outlined in psychological literature, we find a spectrum of overlapping types.

First, we have verbal violence, this is common in everyday activity. There are garden-variety insults, passive-aggressive remarks, profanity, and yelling. Secondly, is blatant physical violence. It often erupts after the first type of violence has been deployed. It includes pushing, slapping, punching, or use of a weapon. It shows up as bullying and overt civil and international warfare.

Next in line is sexual violence, this includes non-consenting sexual advances and activity. This is committed against any unwilling person including children. Then we find the all too common emotional violence. This includes actions or words that are intended to psychologically control, degrade, and manipulate others. Examples include: constant criticism, humiliation, and other ways to cause people to feel worthless. This shows up in society as bigotry, elitism, and sexism.

Other insideous forms of violence are economic and financial violence. This involves preventing people from working or accessing financial resources. This happens at many levels, including fraud and withholding access to their bank accounts. It includes, but not limited to, inequitable wages for work done; extortionary threats; and “creative accounting” practices by business and governmental officials.

Knowing and understanding violence leads us to the need to prevent all forms of violence. We practice smart and proactive measures to keep ourselves and others away from harm. One of the most proactive things we can do is to communicate effectively and de-escalate when situations begin to feel unsafe or threatening. Remaining cool and collected keeps the situation rational. It is wise to communicate clearly without anger or insults. When there are disputes and disagreements, it is best to settle them peaceably.

Experts recommend that we nurture healthy relationships and support networks. We also need to recognize and avoid dangerous situations by staying aware and trusting our instincts. Walk away from any situation that feels unstable or unsafe. In related action comes prevention. Setting clear boundaries and establish workplace policies and enforce them. Also, with the problem of firearms violence, it behooves people to store guns in a safe place to prevent unauthorized access.

Obviously, we must address insideous, underlying issues like prejudice, misogyny, homophobia, racism, and similar states of mind. We must address power imbalances and empower subjugated people. Society must meaningfully invest in public health and social services. There must be ways to affordably connect people to trauma and mental health resources.

Today is the “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”. It is incumbant upon all of us to be aware of this problem and take effective measure to prevent and stop violence against women. We can extend this to include other members of society because emotionally secure men do not commit violence against women and other people. Peaceful thinking and actions towards women and others enable a more peaceful world.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes 20th century American professor and writer, Isaac Asimov. “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”