As part of my gratitude practice, I like to mentally list people who have shared friendship with me throughout the years. This is helpful at bedtime, especially if I’m worried about something. The visualization of the names and faces of present and past friends is a source of great comfort and pleasure. I recommend this type of gratitude practice for anyone who feels neglected, forgotten, and lonely.
Last night, my memories included long-distance friends–people who do not live near my town in Nebraska. Some of these friends live in places like the San Francisco Bay Area, Colorado, Louisiana, Minnesota, New York, British Columbia, Ontario, and Saskatchewan in North America. Overseas, there are some lovely friends in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, Algeria, Israel, India, Pakistan, Japan, and Thailand. There are also numerous WordPress blogging friends who live in various locales around the world.
There are the friends who live close to home. These are people who share frequent close up time in person. These friends join me for coffee, meals, celebrations, walks, shared errands and tasks. We spend quality and quantity time at each others’ homes. We interact much like family but with less dysfunction.
I have poignant memories of past best-friends who have passed away. We shared much of the goodness of life and vanquished evils together. To have experienced friendship with those best friends was a blessing. A common social meme is “best friends forever–BFF”. I believe the BFF meme is valid because best friends will always reside fondly in my heart. If a person has but one best friend forever, this is a sign of auspicious good fortune.
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.”–Virginia Woolf
As I ponder those friends who have been “true blue”, I recall that they were not the acquaintances who provided solutions, cures, advice and proselytized religion. They were the people with whom were shared pain, grief, happiness, and joy. Although we sometimes discussed solutions, cures, advice, and world religions, these were never the main foci of our friendships. The relationships have always been more about compassionate, warm, intimate give and take. There were no agendas other than unadulterated friendship.
I believe there is an instinct within each of us that attracts human interaction and friendship. That instinct encompasses generosity and thinking of the welfare of others. When that instinct intersects with the same instinct of another person, a basis of friendship unfolds. It is this intersection on level ground when each lives for the other that life paths merge together for awhile. The way to having a true friend is to be a true friend.
In the end, friendship enhances life more deeply than romantic love. Elie Wiesel wrote. “Love risks degenrating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.” If true blue friendship and romantic love coexist, that is a rare and special type of friendship. Meanwhile, in my experience, Wiesel has been proven correct. One loyal best friend is more valuable than numerous relatives and acquaintances. Such a friend is someone I can count upon.
Namaste
The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes American novelist, Alice Walker. “No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”
bluejayblog 
Ha, same topic at the same time! Yes, Elie Wiesels comment on friendship sure is a good one.
In my opinion, in romantic love there is also a much greater risk of hurting your partner – with all its consequences. Friendships can often withstand harsh sayings and when you get into a fight, you laugh about it the next day and go straight back for a beer together. To put it simply.
Indeed, I believe true friendship is more resilient than romance.
Friendship, such a critical component in our lives. Well done, Swabby.
I was 5 years old when my family moved into a new-to-me neighbourhood in the city, coming from rural roots. After I finished my first breakfast I wandered outside, but no one else was out yet. I cannot remember why I proceeded in a certain manner, but I knocked on every door on our block, and if anyone answered the knock I asked if any little boys lived there. It took about 20 knocks before one lady said, “Why, yes I do. Wait here.” A boy a little younger than me was presented. We shook hands, exchanged names, and in seconds we were best friends from then for the next 30-plus years. Our personalities just seemed to mesh, despite we were from different economic backgrounds. At that age it didn’t matter.
But eventually something mattered. I had a wanderlust that took me from east coast to west coast, while he stayed home on the prairies, afraid to venture far from his door. Not literally, we explored the city together till we knew every nook and cranny, but that stopped at the city limits. I, on the other hand, had to know what the world had to offer. This difference changed both of us, in comparison to each other. I could be gone for years at s time, but I always returned to the city of my youth, until one day he said, “i don’t know you anymore. I hwve a new friend now.”
I could have been crushed, he was like a safe base for me to stretch my wings from. Suddenly there was no more room in his life for me anymore.
I am generally not a fighter, never physically, but if someone tells me “It’s over,” I leave. I did not fight to keep him as a friend. By then I knew thousands of people all over Canada, not exactly friends, but people I could trust if I suddenly turned up at their door. But the truth is, I never made another real male friend, not a BFF kind. I turned to women for frienddhip, especially any woman I was involved with. For however long they lasted I made them my best friend. Now, at 74 years of life, I truly have only one friend in real life, the woman I share a home with. From what I can tell, this friendship will last till death does us part. Since I am 17 years her elder, it will probably be me leaving her.
And so life will go.
My real friends these days are on the internet, people I can talk to almost every day, or not. That is, people I can really talk to, people I don’t have to play any games with. I have never liked playing relationship/friendship games. You all are my kind of people, in some way. Sharing friendships.
I especially like the part where you knocked on doors then you encountered a cool friend. That’s definitely a wonderful thing.
The more true, close friends we have, the better.
Amen
Thank you for reminding me of the blessings of my many friends.
Friends are real treasures.
I ended my recent travels to Europe as usual in Valencia. A friend and his wifecwho have been true friends for over 40 years. No need for words, just enough to be there. He is one of two real unconditional friends. I count myself as being happy and fortunate to have so many!
Such true friends are priceless treasures.