Living In Peace

At first glance, the subject of peace should be peaceful. However, it’s discomforting for people to have serious, peaceful discussions because much of the time, we are not at peace with ourselves. It’s similar to the scenario that loving oneself enables us to love others. So being at peace with ourselves allows us to better engage peacefully with others.

Just as we cannot force love, we cannot force peace. There have been countless peace treaties signed by adversaries only to be broken soon afterwards. We have the United Nations, which was conceived out of high, idealistic visions. But when push comes to shove, the UN only has very limited influence. These limitations are most apparent when superpowers are involved–which is often.

Regardless of how one feels and approaches the subject of peace, there will be disagreements about how to implement it. This is true on the individual and the global scales. Discussions where each others’ views are challenged are fraught with misunderstandings and much jockeying for power. Too often, peace settlements merely cover up the lingering contempt the disputing parties have for each other. Their resentments simmer until they boil over into more violence.

When we look closer, we notice that the warring parties suffer rebellious factions within themselves. Nations suffer domestic unrest and individuals suffer internally. The challenge is to grow together in ways that outweigh the contempt we have for ourselves and others.

“People don’t want to make peace; they want to feel peace.”–martial arts historian, Tamerlan Kuzgov

In order for us to live in peace, we must realize that peace is a turnkey operation that depends upon peace within. Our inner peace helps foster external peace through our thoughts, words, and actions.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes American author, philosopher, and physician, Debasish Mridha. “If you want to live a peaceful life, let others live in peace.”

Adapting To Our Weird World

I’ve long been attracted to eccentrics. I’m guessing that this attraction is due to my own eccentricities. In school, I hung out with other weird kids as we shared our social exile from the rest of the crowd. We weren’t bad nor unruly, we just had different interests than most everyone else. Each of us was also infamous for some physical trait.

One friend, Perry, wore a prosthetic leg because he had been injured in a car wreck as a young boy. Danny had a severe case of acne. Marty was an effeminate genius who tried unsuccessfully to hide his gentle nature. I was the awkward redhead whose bright carrot top attracted the scorn of the bullies. Together, we found strength in numbers.

This writer believes many of my insights and observations about people and stuff derive from being an outcast from mainstream society as a gay man. Shunning led me into becoming a religious, spiritual renegade. This empowered me from a young age to think and imagine outside the box of orthodox belief systems. The journey was supercharged by religious condemnation of people like me that continues in many belief systems to this day. I learned that how we are born and how we behave far outweigh what is believed by society.

The ostracization from mainstream belief systems that offered no authentic, unconditional refuge, propelled a journey of studying religions and various manifestations of spirituality. There is also the reality of spiritual gatekeeping and exclusivity present in many belief-based institutions that do not jibe with the vastness and variety in our world. Yet some tenents of a few religious systems remain in my “spiritual toolbox”.

Because many of us in the LGBTQ world grew up as shunned, weird folks we found strength in our differences. We discovered that it’s not only OK to be different, but we found ourselves through discovery and authenticity. We respond to the call of social adventure and strike out on our paths with gladness in our hearts.

Mythical paradigms and analogies come close to describing our happy, weird genre. There are Batman and Robin; Buddha and Ananda; the Chinese hermits; and Knights of the Roundtable to name a few. We understand that a transformation of the world away from toxicity is in the cards. We cannot help but feel inspired. Not all of us feel this way, but enough of us have become justice warriors for our cause and others.

Our varieties of weirdness make us political and religious targets. That’s OK to a point, because social resistance to unconventionality helps us develop more strength. We know that our inborn unconventionality is not only real, but is a lovely gift to be treasured and utilized. During the journey, we realize that nearly everybody is weird in their own peculiar ways. I know people from many walks of life who have deadpan senses of humor. Other people like to clown around. Humor begins with the unusual, so why not laugh with others and not at others?

I hope that in some small way that my freaky perspective might have some positive influence on people’s perceptions and relationships to the Universe and with one another. Although there is plenty of ambiguity finding harbor in everyone’s minds, it’s wonderful to embrace it along with the eccentricity and nonconformity present in the real world. We grow by accepting the ups and downs, paradoxes, and puzzlements of our weird world. To do so is to actively practice the art of love.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes lead singer of the rock band “Heart”, Ann Wilson. “Just being out in the world, you see so many things, and every day, you experience so many concepts and different people and their coolness and weirdness. It’s a feast of ideas.”

The Good Life

Crossing the state boundary from South Dakota back into Nebraska, the familiar green road sign stood watch over the state line: “NEBRASKA…the good life”. During much of the rest of the drive home, the slogan washed around inside my mind.

The measuring stick of words and deeds is the love that is left when we’re gone. These may manifest in our lives as a longing for justice; ecologically friendly lifestyle choices; working towards solutions on social problems; cultivating generosity; and advocating for powerless people in society. These might be expressed in career choices, community or charity work, or simply being a caring person filled with loving-kindness.

To live a good life is subjective; it does not require anyone to move to Nebraska nor anywhere else in particular. One can live in Nebraska and have a miserable existence or a satisfying life–it’s up to the individual to judge. The good life usually encompasses the desire to stretch the mind and learn about different things. The ability to perceive beauty in everything is one key. Self-education and meditation are other keys.

To befriend at least one person who possesses admirable qualities is helpful in the journey of a good life. To be close to someone who encourages us to participate in whatever is important to us is a blessing. To have such a friend or significant other who makes us laugh and feel joyful is a bonus worthy of much gratitude. Whether or not one has such an acquaintance, the belief that one’s life is worth living is a catalyst to the good life.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world; most people just exist.–Oscar Wilde

Wilde brings up an existential point. It seems that our default mode of behavior is a matter of just going through the motions. We wake up; do some sort of labor; watch some type of entertainment; go to bed; and wake up again to endlessly repeat. We exist to live life on the weekends and vacations if we’re lucky. To blindly live in this manner will cause life to pass by in a foggy blur. Although life in contemporary society requires obligatory work we still have the option of setting aside several moments of each day to take breaks from the darkness of routine so that we can refocus upon uplifting thoughts and the light of the Universe.

There is a popular meme that many people have promoted that I also like. “You’ve got to dance like nobody is watching; sing like nobody is listening; love like you will never be hurt; and live like life is paradise on Earth.” In the end, we’re mainly answerable to ourselves, so why not act like it?

“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?”–19th century English writer Mary Ann Evans, aka George Eliot

It has been said by many and practiced by fewer that our time is limited so we are wise not to live someone else’s life. It behooves us not to allow the noise of other people’s opinions drown out our unique, inner voices. One must be watchful of the trap of dogma–which is the distillation of other people’s opinions. Be careful and skeptical of what we choose to believe. Everything is secondary to building the courage to follow your heart and strengthen one’s integrity.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes John F. Kennedy. “Once you say you’re going to settle for second, that’s what happens to you in life.”

On Hoarding Awareness Day 2024

I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that I am from a family of pack rats and collectors. We were encouraged to collect things as a pasttime and hobby. Dad had his barns-full of rusting machinery and legitimate antiques. Mom enjoyed her shelves packed with knick-knacks. My sister has various collections. My brother Mark had the most impressive collection of collections, including half-an-acre filled with decaying 1950’s era Chevrolet cars. His apartment was a bonafide hoard of various types of stuff.

As for myself, I have many collections, but manage to cull them regularly. I prefer to give stuff away rather than engage in vain attempts to sell it. I’ve also curtailed the habit of browsing thrift stores from daily, down to once a month or less often. The population of plastic storage totes in the basement is slowly dwindling, too. Remembering the hoarding tendencies of dad and Mark, helps me put on the brakes of acquiring more things.

Dad’s urge to collect is understandable to a degree because he was a child during the Great Depression. It was considered wasteful to throw away anything because there might be a use for it someday. It paid to be prepared for anything because of severe shortages that could risk your very survival. With that in mind, dad’s behavior was an anomaly among the rest of his family of origin. My paternal grandparents did not keep large amounts of random stuff in their home. Neither did his siblings, my aunt and uncles.

Professor Randy Frost reports that anywhere from two to six percent of the population suffers from hoarding disorder. This affects people around the world from all cultures and genders. Here in the United States, approximately 2.6-percent of us struggle with aspects of the disorder. Researchers claim that hoarding relates to childhood experiences of not owning things, frequent instances of losing belongings, or dysfunctional families. There is often a background of having toys taken away or discarded by parental figures. Poverty is another triggering factor.

It’s important to point out that enjoying collections of things to a certain extent does not equate with hoarding. The problem begins when collecting and saving become compulsive and habitual. Many hoarders have been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder. Hoarding is not alleviated with simplistic advice nor drastic decluttering measures.

One must be careful about labeling people as hoarders. Many of us sometimes relax our housekeeping duties from time to time. There might be a bit of temporary clutter somewhere. However, the clutter is regularly removed and the home is kept clean and organized. Meanwhile, in a hoarder’s home, the clutter is never meaningfully cleared away. Belongings are squirreled away wherever space can be found for storage.

If you suspect someone suffers from hoarding disorder, it is important not to directly intervene by with forcible cleaning of the home or nagging. It is best to educate ourselves and ensure that the person sincerely wishes to improve. Show compassion and suggest to the person to seek professional help. If the person is oneself, then the above steps can be adapted as self-improvement techniques.

Knowledge is power and knowledge about hoarding is a personal power. Today is Hoarding Awareness Day–an opportunity to learn more about this type of behavior.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Australian travel writer, Robyn Davidson. “People who wander are nicer to be with. Movement militates against hoarding possessions and against bigotry, because you are constantly moving across boundaries and having to negotiate with people.”

Happy Mothers Day 2024

The memory of mom lingers brightly today even though she passed away nearly 35-years-ago. In my mind, those memories began in a small trailer house at a quaint trailer park in a small Nebraska town. She had to keep one eye on me as my curiosity about appliances and furniture grew.

Mom provided refuge and consolation after some older boys refused to allow me to play baseball with them. A year later, in a new town, she was the last family member I saw on my first day of kindergarten. She gave assurances that everything about school would be fine. Mom was hanging laundry outdoors when I arrived home later that day. She had remained home to care for my two younger siblings.

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”–Erma Bombeck

Mom prefered to be called Mom because she felt that “Mother” was a too formal form of address. She reserved the name “Mother” for her own mother and grandmothers. We kids always capitalized “Mom” whenever we wrote something about or for her–even on Mothers Day.

Mom was a practical woman who knew she must teach her children how to perform domestic, housekeeping chores. When I grew tall enough to safely use the kitchen range, she taught me basic cooking skills. By then, I already understood how to vacuum the floor, make up a bed, and help with washing clothes. Mom believed these are tasks that every child should learn early so they do not become burdens to their future partners.

Mom’s love for her kids was unique to her personality and beliefs. She was in command of the household and allowed no dissent. Any complaint from us resulted in instant reprimand. When we became “too big for our britches”, she deferred final judgment to dad. All things considered, mom raised a brood of pretty good human beings.

Although mom has been gone all these years, the parental friendship between us remains in etherial form. Today I feel gratitude for all that mom did for the family’s sake.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Michelle Obama. “My mother’s love has always been a sustaining force for our family, and one of my greatest joys is seeing her integrity, her compassion, her intelligence reflected in my daughters.”

Such Mystery

While lost in the lovely tones and rhythms of Beethoven’s “Hammerklavier Sonata”, I marveled at the multifaceted nature of the piece. The version in my library was recorded for “Musical Concepts” by Peter Serkin on fortepiano. The tempo immediately grabs the listener’s attention. Then I became engulfed in the feeling of dignified majesty that was not pompous, nor subtle. There was the feeling of authenticity about the piece being performed on the same type of instrument that Beethoven used during its composition. It was easy to musically travel back in time with this music.

I consider Beethoven’s works to be beautiful for many reasons that cannot be expressed in mere words of the English language. There is strength, seasoned with passages of delicacy. The music is elegantly sophisticated without pretention. His talent was obvious from the get-go, but not in the manner of Mozart. To set one’s eyes upon the score of one of Beethoven’s pieces is to become lost in fantasy and wonder.

The “Hammerklavier” is bold yet not blatant like today’s contemporary, popular music. There is poetry. There is mystery with clues about Beethoven’s state of mind. Beethoven causes one to think deeply. While listening, one marvels at the process of writing and performing complex musical pieces.

Yes, all of this requires great stretches of time that is devoted to rehearsal and practice. There is the need for perserverance, patience, and desire. The music industry, especially that of the classical genre is a peculiar business that is steeped in mystery.

Modern industrialists have perfected the techniques of reducing human desire into marketing formulas and product lines. They know that people are desperate for visible, instant gratification. The industrialists have taken complicated technology with all of its mysterious workings and packaged it into visually appealing gadgetry. The technique is so common that we take it for granted.

Although the ability to listen to Beethoven on my home stereo can be explained through descriptions of musical mastery, electronics theory, and manufacturing technology; it is still quite curious that I can listen to a piano sonata in the comfort of my home by placing a CD in a device, flicking a few switches, and twiddling a few knobs. Although I have a general understanding of how all of these things work, the end result of amazing music being driven through the loudspeakers never loses its mystery.

There are countless mysteries around us in the technological sense and within the natural world. We can learn the “nuts and bolts” regarding the workings of things and nature, yet there is still the mystery of how we interpret all of this in a subjective way. Although there are many aspects to the stuff in the Universe, people will still discover things that are interesting for their own sakes and things that will be adapted to good and bad purposes. There are hundreds of things that are related to the larger mystery of our very existence.

I believe that some things like Beethoven’s music and the Universe will always contain a nugget of mystery. There are many things that we may understand on a technical level but will retain the sense of a beautiful mystery. This is a wonderful thing; and we should feel humble yet joyful about it all.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes American novelist, screenwriter, film and television producer-director, Mark Frost. “At the heart of life lies a mystery that everybody has to wrestle with. What the heck are we doing here? How does this world work, and how do I fit in?”

They Have Handles

These are some spur of the moment, jiffy projects today. While placing fresh shelf liners in the kitchen cupboards, I encountered some containers that haven’t been used for awhile. So, before donating them to Goodwill, I decided to use a few for arrangements just for no other reason than to play around.

I used to use this jumbo-size “Alaska Stud Muffin” mug to reheat soup in the microwave. I utilized fake Gerbera daisies so I could later use it again as a soup mug.

A vintage Frankoma coffee mug is an extra from a set of luncheon dishes. It was also chipped, so I repaired it and decided to plant a cactus inside.

The Ohio Pottery Company milk jug was customized for use as a souvenir at the Neligh Mill park and museum site in Neligh, Nebraska, which is located several miles west of my town. A selection of cheerful blooms works well in the container.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes 19th-20th century English author and Anglican priest, William Ralph Inge. “Each generation takes a special pleasure in removing the household gods of its parents from their pedestals, and consigning them to the cupboard.”